Life

Ugh. The longer I put off writing on here... the more I have to write.
So, we're gonna try to fit the last three months into ONE post.

Lets see....
I moved to Roseville, CA to live with Andrea and her mom, Cindy.
Adjusted really fast.
Started Paul Mitchell.
Met some AMAZING people who forever changed my outlook on life.
Those amazing people turned into life long friends. (I just know it)
Went through an intense 6 week classroom course all about cosmetology.
Learned MORE than enough about ALL Paul Mitchell products.
(Became slightly brainwashed and still have a hard time buying hair products that are NOT Paul Mitchell... haha)
Got a part time job at Blockbuster.
Grew to love the people I worked with.
Performed two official hair cuts on live people (all other cuts performed on doll heads..... which I learned to NOT name a girly name because eventually you chop off all their hair to make them boys... then it's just awkward)
Graduated out of the classroom and onto the clinic floor.
Had the title "Protege"
Was on the floor for two weeks.
Realized that my part time job wasn't going to make enough money to support me down there.
Cried about it to Tina and my mom. A lot.
Prayed. A lot. For something to work out so I could stay down there.
Nothing came up.
Had some tearful goodbyes to my Paul Mitchell girls.
Then my family and Tina helped me move back to Redding, CA where I now sit writing this here blog.

Moving back has been hard. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE to be back in town and able to see my friends whenever I want. But I miss school. I can't explain how much I was in love with it. Not just all my girls that I got to know but the school in general. The way it's run. The teachers. It was just all so incredible.
At first, I was really angry with God. I felt that He had quite literally put me in Sac at Paul Mitchell. It was the perfect fit. And then all of a sudden it was getting ripped out of my hands. It was not a good feeling.
But I just had to remind myself that everything happens for a reason. And while I don't know what the reason was for me moving out for two months just to move back home, I'm trusting that something great will come out of it.

As of now, I am looking into an apprenticeship program that I will do with Jilee. It will be an amazing experience, however, there are a ton of hoops to jump through. Starting out with having to give the apprenticeship board between $3-5000 before they will even get me the paperwork to START the process of becoming a student.
So, in the mean time, I am going to be working for SCOE again. Just as a substitute but trying to work as much as I can so have some money saved up for bills so whenever the apprenticeship starts I can focus on that and that alone.

I don't think there is anything else new.

Some good music lately?
Sara Bareilles' newest cd.
Particularly tracks "Kaleidoscope Heart" and "Basket Case". Check 'em out.

Much love,
Ashtyn

Essay Time

For the Paul Mitchell application I had to write an essay answering the question, "who are you?"
I put it off for a long time because I didn't know what to write. I mean.... who am I? That is actually a difficult question... then I realized..... who I am... who I TRULY believe I am... is all founded in God. If you were to look at my life, I haven't accomplished much by society's standards; I graduated high school, I did a year and a half of a junior college, then decided to go to cosmetology school. But if you were to see me the way God sees me, you would think I was a princess!
So that's how I wrote the essay. And I'm still fighting against the lies that people will think I'm "weird" or "religious." So prayer for that would be great!
Thanks!
Here it is:
I have been working on getting the Paul Mitchell application and all of its components together this week but for some reason I have been dreading this “essay” and I could not figure out why. But after more contemplation, I think it is because this is the most simple, yet hardest question to answer: Who am I? By “normal” standards, I am seen as a girl, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a co worker. However, none of those are how I see myself. If I only saw myself as those things who would I be when all of that falls away? That is why I choose to find my identity in the most constant thing in the universe, God.
I am His daughter first and foremost and I choose to find my identity in that. He created the entire universe, but He also created me and gave me a destiny and a purpose. He created me in His image and He takes delight in me. He loves me, not for what I have done or because of anything I have accomplished, but because He made me. The simple fact that I exist and breathe is enough for Him to rejoice. He calls me beloved and beautiful one. He pours His love out on me every single day and His love is life changing. It is all-consuming and glorious. It is like nothing else in the world. It covers all sin and proclaims it null and void. His love will never, ever go away and that promise is what I cling to.
The destiny that He has called me to is only beginning to unfold. I know that my purpose is to encourage and love women. God spoke and said that I would “fulfill the needs of their flesh but also their spirits.” That I would make them feel beautiful inside and out by delivering the life-changing words from Him to His daughters while doing their hair, and makeup, and nails. I would help them see who they truly are through God’s eyes and not society’s and I would help them see that they are beautiful creations and meant for so much more!
This is who I am and this is the truth I get to walk into every single day. I live in constant awe and reverence of God and rejoice that every day is a new opportunity to love God with all my being and praise Him.

God is good

That statement is beyond true. I can't say it enough.
Here's an update.
In May I got a lay off notice. I was told that my last day of work was going to be June 30th. I was really upset, but only because things weren't going according to my PLAN. See, I have this issue where I always have to be in control of things in my life and I always have to have a plan and if I don't then I just get stressed out and have a really hard time functioning.
My "plan" was to work until September, save up money, then move to Sacramento to start Paul Mitchell academy.
So, when the lay off notice showed up I just freaked out and felt like all these open doors that I had seen hadn't REALLY been open doors and I felt like God was just taking all these dreams away from me. (A little dramatic, I know... but that's me.)
After I (with the help of some super encouraging friends) talked myself down from this, I realized some things.
1. I'm GOING to be a cosmetologist. God told me. And once He speaks things, they HAVE to be. There is no "maybe" or "that's not going to work out now."
2. His timing is NOT my timing. By any means. I am going to achieve these dreams, just maybe not the way I wanted to.
3. I HAVE to stop trying to control things. I thought I had already learned this lesson but, God thought otherwise.

I started applying for jobs and got an interview for the Penney's hair salon's front desk! The interview went well! I'm supposed to know on Tuesday whether or not I got it. I'll keep you updated!
I also found out that the lay off notices were "re-sended" which means that I have a job with SCOE till September 30th.
God is faithful. And incredible. I just have to ALWAYS remember that.

Another update... I started a new life group! I'm in the Gaffner's for this semester. They are amazing! I LOVE them so much! There are quite a few people in our group but we split up into men and women for the discussion part of the evening. It's been so fun meeting people from the 10 AM service as well! I love fellowship. :)

Paul Mitchell

Last Friday my mom and I went to visit the California Academy (Paul Mitchell) in Sacramento.
After the GPS took us some odd way we finally arrived there.
(Side note.. I must give my mom kudos for going OVER the speed limit to get me there on time for my tour.. she did amazing.)
So, we arrive and see that it is upstairs. It's in the middle of a shopping center place and what is RIGHT downstairs from it?!?!?!?! CHILI'S!!!!!!
(This is so exciting because Chili's is possibly one of my favorite restaurants.... I think it's a God thing....just ONE of the many signs pointing me to go there)
In the shopping center there is a Starbucks, and a Jamba Juice and a Pinkberry and just a bunch of places to try to get a job!
We take the elevator up to the second level and go in.
IT WAS INCREDIBLE! There was loud music playing, there were a TON of stations, there were students with amazing hair, the decor was super modern and very chic with a lot of black and then lime green accents thrown in. There were flat screen tv's up on a wall showing famous hair stylists doing hair, it was young but professional, it smelled like hair products and it was just.......... AMAZING. I don't know how else to describe it.
So we meet our tour guide. She was really nice. She showed us all around. Here's the basics of what I found out.
There are 16 students in each class.
I'll be in the classroom for 6 weeks working on doll heads and other students.
I then have an evaluation and go to the floor doing half days there and the other half back in the classroom.
I'll get my kit within the FIRST WEEK that has EVERYTHING I will need.
They only use Paul Mitchell products.
Their "motto" is "be nice. They try to create a really positive environment and have little "Caught Ya Being Good" papers.
When you're on the floor teachers don't hover. They just walk by.
Before each client you have you sit down with them and a teacher to make sure you understand what they want.
I have to wear all black, all the time. They have dress down days where I can wear jeans and then they have some themed days.
There are these teams that they encourage you to get involved with (which I WILL be doing). One is the design team where they do the hair for fashion shows (WHOOOOO!)
They have a student council that recognizes everyone's birthdays and holidays.

There's a lot more, but this is getting a little long. Basically.... I LOVED it. The start date that I am looking at is October 5th. Which is the DAY before my bday... so that kinda stinks... but it's okay. I'm SO excited. And I get to live with Andrea and her mom which is going to be SO fun!!!!!!
I still have to fill out the FAFSA and see how much financial aid I can get but I am ready to take out loans. I could totally see myself there and I am willing to do whatever so I can go there.

I'm in a complaining mood....

so I apologize to all of my readers. Yes, I know that these are all somewhat lame things to be complaining about and I could have it SO much worse... but I just feel like venting.

Tina and I made a cake for Jamie's bday. But Tina fell asleep while it was baking. (Sorry Tina if you read this...) And that really frustrated me. Just because she was so excited to make it earlier that day and then totally passed out. Like always.

So I take it to Ariel's to finish decorating it. Jordan and her help me. Put candles on. They look kinda lame because I was rushing. Then we go to deliver it. Get there a few minutes before midnight. Try to light them... lighter doesn't work.

Drive to AM PM. Buy a lighter for friggin 2 bucks. (He didn't check for ID.... weird) Go BACK to Jamie's house. Now 12:10. Kinda lame... cuz it's not right at 12. Light ALL the candles... Ariel burns herself. Jordan blows out some of the candles. Call Jamie. Once. Twice. Three times. She doesn't answer. Stand there for awhile... realize we probably look suspicious.. then drive ALL the way back to Ariel's house then ALL the way home.

Then today, my car started revving when it's in PARK. Ariel said this is a sign that my timing belt is going out. Oh joy. This is what I've been saving up for. It's gonna cost a butt load of money. UGHHHHHH

So, I get home and ask my dad to go ask our neighbor/mechanic about it tomorrow and he yells at me saying "I can go ask him about it just as easily"

Yes, Dad. I can. But when I explain things about my car I sound like an effing retard because I don't know the name for anything and end up trying to imitate the noises and having people look at me like I'm crazy. UGH. Just a really frustrating day.

Oh and the man from Shasta School of Cosmetology DIDN'T call back today.

I'm just really not liking today. So now I'm going to bed. And my phone is going to be on silent and I am not setting an alarm.

Excited, Frustrated, Stressed

As I'm on hold with Shasta School of Cosmetology my mind is racing.
I'm so excited to start on this journey, but at the same time I'm really scared.
I'm sorta stressed about the money issue.
I'm sorta worried about the job situation.

*Update on the job situation.....
A position was open in the Toddler Room for 9:30-1. I was super excited because I was going to get to do both that and the one I have now (2:30-6 in School Age room) and save up a lot of money. But then I found out that a lady who was already in the toddler room wanted that position so then HER position would be open (12-3:30). I was offered that and at first said I would take it. But then I started thinking about it...
Taking the 12 o'clock position would mean leaving the School Age classroom. And that just didn't feel right. I feel that it was DEFINITELY God's plan to put me into that classroom and I just don't feel like I'm done in there. I also really love the partnership that Paula and I have. We know what we have to do and we get it done. I just feel like it flows really well and I don't want to leave her with someone new coming into the classroom.
Also, when I first got into that classroom.... those kids were horrible. There was no set plan for discipline and they all just didn't listen or care. Now, there are very set rules and set punishments and consequences. I just don't want to see that all go away so soon as I moved classrooms.
So, the entire point of this here rabbit trail was to tell you all that I decided to stay in the school age classroom.

I wish that I could just start cutting hair. Without school. Like a normal job.
It's just that.... THIS is my dream. THIS is my calling and I just want to DO it.
The fact that I can only go to school part time really makes me mad.
I'm frustrated that I can't just HAVE the money to make all my payments AND be in school full time.


But I know........
That because this is God's plan.. He will provide.
He's not just going to leave me stranded.
Like Nate said last week... God doesn't give up on His dreams for us.
And I know that. But things are still frustrating.

2010

A new year. A new beginning. A new start.
For the past few years I have had NO idea what the next
year was going to bring. I had no plans. No ambition.
No direction. This year is different.
I feel I have a better grasp on who I am. A better
understanding of what I'm supposed to be doing. And a
better outlook on these next few years.
I know Shasta College isn't right for me. I know that
college altogether isn't for me.
I know I'm SUPPOSED to be doing cosmetology school.
I know the types of people I'm supposed to be ministering to.
I know that because this is what I am supposed to do
God is going to provide a way for it to happen.
I know it's going to be extremely difficult but all the
affirmation and direction I've received from God is going to
be my motivation during those 16 months of school.

And over this past year...
I've learned that God cannot be put in a box. He doesn't like that.
I've learned that I'm a daughter of God.
I've learned that he WANTS to take care of me and I have
to trust that He will.
I've learned that He has placed certain people in my life for
certain reasons.
I've learned what friendship really is.
I've learned that it's okay to not have it all "together" all
the time.
I've learned that's why my friends are there for.
I've grown to appreciate my family a lot more.
I've seen how important it is to create community within my
church.
I've met the most beautiful women of God in my life group and
have created amazing relationships with them.
I've received mix cd's from 3 of them and loved every single
song on there.
I've seen functional and productive relationships thrive and I've
seen dysfunctional relationships cease.
I've seen miracles.
I've seen God move in ways I thought weren't possible.
I've had one series at the Stirring reshape the way I see
all sorts of relationships.

This new year is going to be amazing. I'm so ready for more growth
in the spirit. I want my relationship with God to grow deeper and
stronger. I want to be completely immersed in Him. I want
to learn more and I want to praise God in everything I do.