baby stepping....

Okay, so I'm not stepping down stairs but more like, stepping in life.

I'm taking things one day at a time. Literally.
After last weeks issue of walking away I started
wondering what exactly that looked like. So I
asked God. And just started praying about it.
I decided that for me... walking away was simply
to STOP thinking about the future and just deal with
whatever He had placed in front of me.

So, I started found the classes for next semester. I found
4 that are all online. They are easy and
somewhat interesting.

This made me feel a lot better. I'm starting to get
a peace about the whole thing. Just simply, heading
in SOME direction is making me feel better.
I don't feel stagnant anymore. For a while there I felt
like I was stuck. Just waiting around for God to do
what I wanted Him to do. But that's not right.

Things are gonna be done in His time. Not mine. An
EXTREMELY hard lesson for me to learn but I feel like
I am starting to get the hang of it.

So, that's that. I'm trying to take only a little bit
at a time. I only have up till next fall planned out.
And while that's scary... I'm learning to love it.

I was talking to Andrea last night about the future.
I explained it like this....
I know where God wants me. No doubt in my mind about that.
But there are SO many different ways of getting there.
I'm horrible with decisions so I'm just gonna have to
keep praying and trusting that when the time comes
He will tell me what to do.
Certain things give me hope though....
The fact that while BSSM is something that I REALLY want
to do... if this isn't the right time... it's okay. You
can do BSSM no matter what age you are. So while I feel
that I should go.. it might not be right for me RIGHT now.
The fact that there are Marinello's EVERYWHERE so I might
not be called to be in Redding for that much longer.

It's all just exciting...... and scary. But like I said,
I'm learning to love it.

P.S. I love "What About Bob?"